Cognitively Complex

Do you remember those early years of romance and discovery as a teenager? Those times when you fell in love, or at least you thought you were in love, with the perfect person. What about heartbreak? The thought of seeing the one person you can’t live without make the decision to live without you can make a person physically ill.

Sadly, one of my friends recently went through heartbreak for the first time in his life… as a 25-year-old. I’ve always said that heartbreak is something everyone needs to go through. It builds character, drives home the idea of realistic expectations in a relationship, and it gives a person a firm idea of what they want in a partner. It helped me figure out myself emotionally in high school and in college. For my friend, I hope the same is true.

Unfortunately, he’s taken the break-up rather badly. The first time he dated a woman for an extended period of time was his last girlfriend, Janet. He dated her for six years before concluding they had nothing in common. Impressive, I know. Most of it was the physical attraction and constant flow of sex in the relationship, but once they found a routine and attempted to stimulate each other in other ways – the cons of the relationship were exposed.

Freshly on the market, my friend, we’ll call him Blake, played the game like he should have done years ago. He put himself out there, dating a multitude of women to get an idea of what he wanted in a girl. After about a year on the market, he found a beautiful young woman who he fell in love with. She was a charmer, a no-bullshit type of gal, and I was impressed. After a year-and-a-half under the sheets, visiting family Christmases, and keeping each other warm on the coach in the winter, she unexpectedly left.

His initial reaction was anger. He called me, and I went to “hang” out with him, which is code for “listened to him bitch about what happened.” That’s what friends do, bro. I’d been through this same ordeal three times in my lifetime, so it was nothing new, but what I did know is that each of those break-ups was a pivotal learning experience. He needed this because he had never felt something like this before.

Unfortunately, his mother drove the idea into his head that feeling ill to his stomach and depressed because the love of his life had left him “wasn’t normal”. This is a woman who is on Prozac twenty-four hours a day. Feeding off society’s idea that depression shouldn’t ever be an issue, Blake went to the doctor and got a prescription for an anti-depressant. Sadly, when I had conversations about the break-up after the medication was administered, it was like talking to a brick wall. He had no emotional input in the matter, nor did he really feel that terribly about the ordeal anymore. To me, it seemed as if he were bypassing a pivotal moment of development by way of a pill.

This is a minor example. Kids who show one symptom of ADHD are medicated instantly, and I wonder what kind of detrimental effects those medications will have in the long-term. Why must people seek out antidepressants for situations that are going to elicit depression? If your mother dies, I’m sure you’ll feel depressed. Better rush to the doctor to get numbed up to emotional pain.

There are people out there who have chemical imbalances in their brains that cause prolonged depression that is independent of real-life situations. Obviously, those cases need attention. But why are we medicating kids who can’t sit still in their seats, heartbroken former lovers, and mourning families? Those are situations that should be depressing because they are exactly that.