It’s a New Year, Optimism is Low

by cognitivelycomplex

Spare me the clinic on positivity and optimism. I’m just not up for it. 

Over the past couple of months, society’s push to make all of us unfortunate souls who are alone for the holidays feel even more alone succeeded. My journey of personal growth and eventual redemption was put on hold for long nights under a blanket, marathoning coming-of-age dramas on Netflix. This is entirely my own undoing, of course. Why do I let these things get to me?

Most of my anxiety heading into 2014 remains on the notion that I’ll be alone forever. I know, I know… I’ve beaten this dead horse enough. You’re right, but it’s difficult to not think about it. The whole online dating thing has led to… zero dates. Zero. Even when I get a little interest, it disappears. 

My status as a single father is likely scaring these young lasses away. I get it. But then I don’t get it. I think that’s what pisses me off the most about the whole situation. It really makes me realize why there are so many single Dads out there without someone in their life.

Naturally, this has put me in a bad mood. I’ve also realized, after visiting family over the holidays, that the Midwest isn’t for me. I’ve lived here all my life, but I’m the furthest from your typical Midwesterner. I’m not a Republican. I’m liberal in my views. I’m not religious. I hate chain restaurants. When I think of active and outdoors, I don’t think of running down a bike path or hiking in a forrest. I want mountains.

I’ve been thinking about relocating, but I don’t want to give up how much I see my son. My only option is to convince his mother to move with us, and she’s somewhat open to the idea as she doesn’t like it here either. But I don’t want to make a rash decision with a cloud of depression over my head. I might regret it.

It’s going to be a tough year. I’ve been contemplating how I will meet new people. How can I make new friends? What can I do to make things better? Any suggestions?

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